A Saucy Parley

So.... I had a little trouble with a recent clothing order from Old Navy. The emails between the customer "service" department and me are shown below (details have been changed for privacy reasons or to protect you from knowing my waist size).

Battening down the hatches, I invoke parley:

To whom it may concern:

Re: order number: 1**J***

I recently placed the above order last week and was pleased to see that it arrived today (ahead of schedule).

After checking the items I received against the invoice, I noticed that I did not receive the Hot-Potato-colored Broken-in Khakis I ordered (7760560024630). However, I did receive a Saucy Red Men's Classic Tee (4195420520504) which I did not order, is not listed on the invoice, and actually was never even placed in my online shopping bag.

I called to speak with customer service, and the very polite woman, who I am absolutely sure was not from Groveport, Ohio, and despite whose first words were "I'm sorry this happened," could only offer me the following two solutions:
Mail back the offending Saucy Red Tee and wait for Old Navy to receive the Saucy Red Tee, process the Saucy Red Tee (which, again, isn't even on the invoice), and then wait for Old Navy to ship the appropriate item (Hot-Potato-colored Broken-in Khakis) back to me. This option will likely take at least a week and a half. Should I really have to wait another two weeks for Hot-Potato-colored Broken-in Khakis which I ordered and paid for last week?
The second option would be for her to place another order for me for the Hot-Potato-colored Broken-in Khakis, which would require charging my credit card again (she stated she would waive shipping - well gee, I would hope so). I would then need to ship the Saucy Red Tee back to Old Navy; only then would I receive a credit to my card for the "purchase" of the Saucy Red Tee (which I didn't order, didn't pay for, and didn't even want); she stated I would receive only an $8.00 credit for said Saucy Red Tee (despite being charged $19.00 for the elusive Hot-Potato-colored Broken-in Khakis, which I never received). That doesn't quite make sense. Yes, I'm sure you're thinking I misunderstood her; however, she explained this twice.

Neither of these customer "service" solutions seem very elegant, especially, in light of the fact that the mistake was made by your company.

Honestly, I'm not expecting that writing this email is going to get me more than a scripted response, much less a solution that actually seems service-oriented, and I'm sure that, despite offering me the same set of solutions, your response will include some variation of "I'm sorry this happened." Actually, I'm pretty sure you could care less whether or not I continue to shop at Old Navy, so I won't even feign that as a threat.


Best Regards,

Aaron W.

Old Navy fires a warning shot across my bow:

Dear Aaron,

Thanks for the email and your oldnavy.com order #1**J***. Please know we
understand your frustration and we do want to offer our sincerest
apologies once again for this error. Upon research, we show the order
#1**J***, does not pull up the proper order for you. Please email us
again with the correct item number and we will be better able to assist
you with this matter.

As previously stated by our phone representatives, to return the
incorrect item you received, you may take advantage of our free exchange
policy by printing a label from the Customer Service section at
oldnavy.com. Be sure to indicate on the return portion of your invoice
that the wrong item was sent.

You can order your replacement immediately by calling 1-800-OLD-NAVY
anytime. In-stock items will be shipped at no charge for standard
shipping and handling. We will bill your credit card for the new
merchandise and process your credit for returned merchandise as soon as
we receive it.

Aaron, please know we understand the inconvenience this order has
caused. You're a valued customer to us and your comments have been
documented and forwarded to the appropriate department, as customer
feedback and satisfaction is the most important consideration when
planning for the future. We hope you will continue to honor us with your
patronage.

If we may be of further assistance, please contact us at
custserv@oldnavy.com or by calling 1-800-OLD-NAVY. If you are calling
from outside of the U.S. you may also reach us at 1-614-744-3543.

Sincerely,

Tylerann
Customer Service Consultant

Recognizing that Tylerann is likely a Rear Admiral in the Old Navy, I kindly respond:

My apologies, Old Navy,

The correct order number is 1**K***. I obviously must have typed "J" instead of "K" because I was trying so hard not to use my middle finger.

May I ask: what is your policy if you had simply left an item out of my order? Would I still have to order it again? Would you charge my card again? If so, at what point would you credit my card for the original charge of the Hot-Potato-colored Broken-in Khakis?

Please note, I essentially received a "free" piece of merchandise because of your mistake, which had I been a less honest man, would likely not have mentioned initially to your customer service representative. I simply would have kept the Saucy Red Tee and only complained that you left an item (Hot-Potato-colored Broken-in Khakis) out of my order.

Please know that I am not looking for a pat on the back because of my honesty; I mention it to make a point about your return/charge a card/credit a card policy.

Tylerann, I do appreciate the individualized reply; however, the same inelegant solution was offered, and I recognize that if you actually had the appropriate order number, you may have helped me more (though I doubt it).

Since I'm making suggestions, I would also recommend that, in correspondence and on the telephone, your service representatives use titles (Mr. or Ms.) to address customers.

Again, thanks for your time,

Mr. Aaron W.
Honest Khaki-less Customer

Old Navy likes the cut of my jib:

Dear Aaron,

Thank you for your recent email regarding your oldnavy.com order,
#1**K***. Aaron, please know we understand your frustration and we
regret having disappointed you. We have resent out the Men's Broken-In
Khakis (item #776056) to you with standard delivery at no additional
charge with a signature required. Packages shipped via this method are
expected to arrive within 5-9 business days so you should receive your
package by August 11, 2010. Your new order number is #1***Q**. Once your
new order is shipped you should receive a shipment notification email
within 24 hours.

In regards to the incorrect item you received, you may return the shirt
back to us and our distribution center will return it to stock.

Aaron, we hope this information is helpful and resolves any concerns you
may have had. You're a valued customer to us and your comments have been
documented and forwarded to the appropriate department, as customer
feedback is the most important consideration when planning for the
future.

We hope you will continue to honor us with your patronage in the future.

If we may be of further assistance, please contact us at
custserv@oldnavy.com or by calling 1-800-OLD-NAVY. If you are calling
from outside of the U.S. you may also reach us at 1-614-744-3543.

Sincerely,

Tylerann
Customer Service Consultant

Seeing as how no one is going to walk the plank, I relent:

Dear Old Navy and Tylerann,

Thank you for helping me resolve the problem with my recent order. My Hot-Potato-colored Broken-In Khakis arrived today. My wife thinks they flatter my figure.

Per the UPS website, earlier today you received the Saucy Red Tee which I shipped back to you.

All is well that ends well.

Best Regards,

Mr. Aaron W.