Pursuing Pineapple

A Saucy Parley

2010-08-05T17:20:00.008-05:00

So.... I had a little trouble with a recent clothing order from Old Navy. The emails between the customer "service" department and me are shown below (details have been changed for privacy reasons or to protect you from knowing my waist size).

Battening down the hatches, I invoke parley:

To whom it may concern:

Re: order number: 1**J***

I recently placed the above order last week and was pleased to see that it arrived today (ahead of schedule).

After checking the items I received against the invoice, I noticed that I did not receive the Hot-Potato-colored Broken-in Khakis I ordered (7760560024630). However, I did receive a Saucy Red Men's Classic Tee (4195420520504) which I did not order, is not listed on the invoice, and actually was never even placed in my online shopping bag.

I called to speak with customer service, and the very polite woman, who I am absolutely sure was not from Groveport, Ohio, and despite whose first words were "I'm sorry this happened," could only offer me the following two solutions:
Mail back the offending Saucy Red Tee and wait for Old Navy to receive the Saucy Red Tee, process the Saucy Red Tee (which, again, isn't even on the invoice), and then wait for Old Navy to ship the appropriate item (Hot-Potato-colored Broken-in Khakis) back to me. This option will likely take at least a week and a half. Should I really have to wait another two weeks for Hot-Potato-colored Broken-in Khakis which I ordered and paid for last week?
The second option would be for her to place another order for me for the Hot-Potato-colored Broken-in Khakis, which would require charging my credit card again (she stated she would waive shipping - well gee, I would hope so). I would then need to ship the Saucy Red Tee back to Old Navy; only then would I receive a credit to my card for the "purchase" of the Saucy Red Tee (which I didn't order, didn't pay for, and didn't even want); she stated I would receive only an $8.00 credit for said Saucy Red Tee (despite being charged $19.00 for the elusive Hot-Potato-colored Broken-in Khakis, which I never received). That doesn't quite make sense. Yes, I'm sure you're thinking I misunderstood her; however, she explained this twice.

Neither of these customer "service" solutions seem very elegant, especially, in light of the fact that the mistake was made by your company.

Honestly, I'm not expecting that writing this email is going to get me more than a scripted response, much less a solution that actually seems service-oriented, and I'm sure that, despite offering me the same set of solutions, your response will include some variation of "I'm sorry this happened." Actually, I'm pretty sure you could care less whether or not I continue to shop at Old Navy, so I won't even feign that as a threat.

Best Regards,

Aaron W.

Old Navy fires a warning shot across my bow:

Dear Aaron,

Thanks for the email and your oldnavy.com order #1**J***. Please know we
understand your frustration and we do want to offer our sincerest
apologies once again for this error. Upon research, we show the order
#1**J***, does not pull up the proper order for you. Please email us
again with the correct item number and we will be better able to assist
you with this matter.

As previously stated by our phone representatives, to return the
incorrect item you received, you may take advantage of our free exchange
policy by printing a label from the Customer Service section at
oldnavy.com. Be sure to indicate on the return portion of your invoice
that the wrong item was sent.

You can order your replacement immediately by calling 1-800-OLD-NAVY
anytime. In-stock items will be shipped at no charge for standard
shipping and handling. We will bill your credit card for the new
merchandise and process your credit for returned merchandise as soon as
we receive it.

Aaron, please know we understand the inconvenience this order has
caused. You're a valued customer to us and your comments have been
documented and forwarded to the appropriate department, as customer
feedback and satisfaction is the most important consideration when
planning for the future. We hope you will continue to honor us with your
patronage.

If we may be of further assistance, please contact us at
custserv@oldnavy.com or by calling 1-800-OLD-NAVY. If you are calling
from outside of the U.S. you may also reach us at 1-614-744-3543.

Sincerely,

Tylerann
Customer Service Consultant

Recognizing that Tylerann is likely a Rear Admiral in the Old Navy, I kindly respond:

My apologies, Old Navy,

The correct order number is 1**K***. I obviously must have typed "J" instead of "K" because I was trying so hard not to use my middle finger.

May I ask: what is your policy if you had simply left an item out of my order? Would I still have to order it again? Would you charge my card again? If so, at what point would you credit my card for the original charge of the Hot-Potato-colored Broken-in Khakis?

Please note, I essentially received a "free" piece of merchandise because of your mistake, which had I been a less honest man, would likely not have mentioned initially to your customer service representative. I simply would have kept the Saucy Red Tee and only complained that you left an item (Hot-Potato-colored Broken-in Khakis) out of my order.

Please know that I am not looking for a pat on the back because of my honesty; I mention it to make a point about your return/charge a card/credit a card policy.

Tylerann, I do appreciate the individualized reply; however, the same inelegant solution was offered, and I recognize that if you actually had the appropriate order number, you may have helped me more (though I doubt it).

Since I'm making suggestions, I would also recommend that, in correspondence and on the telephone, your service representatives use titles (Mr. or Ms.) to address customers.

Again, thanks for your time,

Mr. Aaron W.
Honest Khaki-less Customer

Old Navy likes the cut of my jib:

Dear Aaron,

Thank you for your recent email regarding your oldnavy.com order,
#1**K***. Aaron, please know we understand your frustration and we
regret having disappointed you. We have resent out the Men's Broken-In
Khakis (item #776056) to you with standard delivery at no additional
charge with a signature required. Packages shipped via this method are
expected to arrive within 5-9 business days so you should receive your
package by August 11, 2010. Your new order number is #1***Q**. Once your
new order is shipped you should receive a shipment notification email
within 24 hours.

In regards to the incorrect item you received, you may return the shirt
back to us and our distribution center will return it to stock.

Aaron, we hope this information is helpful and resolves any concerns you
may have had. You're a valued customer to us and your comments have been
documented and forwarded to the appropriate department, as customer
feedback is the most important consideration when planning for the
future.

We hope you will continue to honor us with your patronage in the future.

If we may be of further assistance, please contact us at
custserv@oldnavy.com or by calling 1-800-OLD-NAVY. If you are calling
from outside of the U.S. you may also reach us at 1-614-744-3543.

Sincerely,

Tylerann
Customer Service Consultant

Seeing as how no one is going to walk the plank, I relent:

Dear Old Navy and Tylerann,

Thank you for helping me resolve the problem with my recent order. My Hot-Potato-colored Broken-In Khakis arrived today. My wife thinks they flatter my figure.

Per the UPS website, earlier today you received the Saucy Red Tee which I shipped back to you.

All is well that ends well.

Best Regards,

Mr. Aaron W.

Sabbatical

2010-06-02T07:20:00.003-05:00

So.... as you've probably gathered, my posting to this blog has become very sporadic (or non-existent). The reasons for the lack of blogging are three fold: I've been busy with other creative endeavors and haven't devoted the time to keep up, I have had some concerns about privacy and opening up our lives in a blog, and I've been kind of lazy.

As time allows and as interesting or worthwhile anecdotes occur, I'll blog, but scheduled posting will continue to be infrequent.

So.... Pursuing Pineapple is officially on sabbatical.

Not completely gone and hopefully not forgotten.

Pop Culture Mash Up

2010-06-02T07:07:00.003-05:00

So.... I was wasting time online yesterday and found the most awesome pop culture mash up I've seen in quite some time. The pic is from the set of the new Smurfs movie.

Gargamel with Tim Gunn (holding Azrael)

Adventures of the Flinching Gourmet

2009-12-27T21:30:00.003-06:00

So.... Rachel and I decided that we wanted to start our own traditions this Christmas. We felt like being in our home on Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning was important to us. We attended a Christmas Eve service at the Presbyterian church (we're friends with the minister). After looking at Christmas lights and running by some friends' house, we headed home.

We had already started cooking that afternoon, so the potato gratin was already half way finished. We started the popovers and readied the asparagus for roasting. Now to the main event. Rachel stopped by Weldon's Meat Market in Hot Springs a few days before to pick up a couple of filets. I was at home for lunch when she brought the steaks in; I unwrapped the package to examine her purchase - never before had my mouth watered at the smell of raw meat. We were making our Tennessee version of Steak Au Poivre (Peppercorn Steak). We call it a Tennessee version because instead of the traditional cognac to deglaze the pan, we use Jack Daniel's. After searing the steaks, start the sauce by adding garlic and shallots, then deglaze the pan. Then using a lighter, carefully ignite the remaining alcohol to burn it off.

Lighting of the Advent Whiskey

I really have done this before - it just looks like I haven't. Rachel captured such a wonderful shot, I couldn't not share it. Nothing in the kitchen caught fire, and the flames eventually burned away (it took like two full minutes - not like the ten seconds they show you on television). After adding beef stock, cream, and a few other ingredients, the steaks are returned to the sauce for a few minutes.

The meal turned out wonderfully: Tennessee Steak Au Poivre, Rosemary Infused Potato Gratin, Roasted Asparagus with Lemon Zest, and Simple Popovers. We were delighted. We even used our fine china, crystal, and fancy flatware. It was a great first Christmas together.

This Christmas would have been perfect had I not developed one of the worst cases of exudative tonsillitis I've ever seen - I'll spare you the pictures.

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T04:16:00.002-06:00

So.... from both of us to all of you:

Merry Christmas!

Card of Christmas Past

2009-12-24T06:14:00.003-06:00

So.... in 1986, the Texarkana Arkansas School District announced that their Christmas Card that year would be chosen from a design submitted by a student in the district. I was in fifth grade and referencing the razorback motif (the high school's mascot), I submitted my design in early October. And thought nothing about it.

In early December, our principal Mr. Thompson came to our classroom and presented me with a framed copy of the District's 1986 Christmas Card.

This year Rachel and I found a way to incorporate the framed copy into our Christmas decor. It stands proudly amongst our collection of Santas.

Gifts

2009-12-23T06:12:00.004-06:00

So.... Rachel and I decided that we should try to be conservative this year, so we picked a dollar amount that we could spend on each other and worked very hard to get each other lots of little gifts that were creative but meaningful (and in the budget). We've been wrapping each other's presents (and other folk's gifts) over the last couple of weeks, and it's been fun to watch the pile grow.

I've always put up a tree and usually put the gifts I'm giving to friends and family under it, but it sure is fun to see packages for me under the tree this year.

Nativity

2009-12-22T17:59:00.003-06:00

So.... some of you may know that I collect Fontanini Nativity Figurines. My ever growing collection has a special place on a bookcase in the living room. It helps to remind me of the true importance of Christmas.

This year is marked by the goat getting to help the angel proclaim the good news of Christ's birth.

easy post

2009-12-20T00:11:00.002-06:00

So.... I thought I'd take the opportunity to use one of my favorite photos from the wedding as a way to make a really easy blog post. Enjoy.

Live Oak Photos

2009-12-18T01:22:00.004-06:00

So.... my parents have this wonderful old Live Oak tree across the street from them. On Thanksgiving Day, after nearly stuffing ourselves with as much food as we could eat, and after a short nap, Rachel and I coerced my mom, dad, and sister into taking some photos of us in front of the Live Oak. My mom was even gracious enough to let us borrow her leather wing chair.

Sometimes you have to take several photos (sometimes 139) to finally get one you love.

Christmas Candy

2009-12-15T23:21:00.004-06:00

So.... Rachel and I spent one Saturday afternoon this December making candy.

We made millionaires...

chocolate dipped pretzels, chex mix...

chocolate dipped pringles, and everyone's favorite....

Christmas Wreaths!

Broken Beaver

2009-10-17T10:31:00.004-05:00

So.... our clinic travels a couple of days a week to some even more rural locations to offer satellite locations. Previously we partnered with the local hospital and used their bus; now we rent clinic area in local office buildings to provide services. On my way down to Gurdon yesterday, I stopped to more closely evaluate the name of this church's pastor.

...and eat it too.

2009-10-15T00:10:00.002-05:00

So.... this is what those wonderful orange cupcakes look like on the inside. Currently the recipe is unavailable - sorry - you'll just have to hope that we open that cup cake stand.

Have Your CupCake...

2009-10-09T14:31:00.001-05:00

So.... this summer Rachel and I hosted a delightful baby shower for our friends. It was on a Sunday afternoon, so with most people having already eaten lunch, we decided to simplify my typically extravagant menu and make cupcakes.

Now, these were no ordinary cupcakes. They were homemade, and even teetered on the brink of being considered gourmet (perhaps I editorialize a little much). We had a traditional yellow cake with chocolate frosting, red velvet cake with fluffy white frosting (I call it lard frosting), and orange-flavored cupcakes with a creamy filling and almond buttercream frosting.

Presentation is key: we used geometry, repetition, and symmetry to enhance our edible offerings.

Rachel and I have decided that when we strike oil, hit the lottery, or pull a heist at the local bank, we are quitting our day jobs, moving to the beach, and opening a cake/ cupcake stand. We have lots of ideas for fun names and different flavors (of course, I can't share those because some of you might be enticed to open your own shop). I'm sure we'll offer a discount to loyal followers of Pursuing Pineapple, so keep your eyes peeled and your fingers crossed (that we win the lottery).

Meet Jack

2009-10-08T23:04:00.002-05:00

So.... this is my new friend Jack. He was born about 6 weeks ago, and I have the privilege of being his pediatrician.

Before Jack was born his mom and dad were worried about being new parents. They shouldn't have worried - they're doing great! At one of the baby showers I showed his parents how to swaddle a baby. For illustration purposes, we used a dish towel and other handy items.

Lori practiced with a flip-flop.

Donnie practiced with an alligator dog toy.

I then taught them how to disguise a Jack Russell Terrier so that he could infiltrate the Taliban.

We've Been Blogged Again...

2009-08-22T10:21:00.002-05:00

So.... our wedding photographer featured Rachel and I on her blog a few days ago. I thought you might like to have that link. While you're there, check out the slideshow of our wedding day (the first time Rachel and I saw it, we both cried).

Happy Birthday, Mrs. Ward!

2009-08-02T00:31:00.004-05:00

So.... Rachel recently had a birthday, and (for close to a week) we celebrated her first birthday as Mrs. Ward. First up: a quick trip to Memphis. We met there last year for her birthday, and I wanted to surprise her with a return visit. I didn't tell her until the night before we left. This is the picture I made and used as the wall paper on the laptop to let her know what we were doing.

We stayed at the Madison again. It is a boutique hotel a couple of blocks up from the Peabody.

I left work a little early on Wednesday for the overnight trip. On Thursday, we only had until early afternoon in Memphis because we had to get back to Arkadelphia for Rachel's softball game that night. We walked around Beale Street, and we enjoyed ourselves. We skipped breakfast and decided to eat an early lunch. Rachel had never been to a Hard Rock Cafe, so we ate there. Now, we never have to eat there again (such a poor excuse for over-priced mediocrity).

After lunch we headed into A. Schwab's for our annual millinery tour.

We stopped by Peabody Place to grab a snack before we left Memphis (fortunately, no Memphis March this year). No, those red blotches aren't Rachel's lipstick on that napkin. They are the remnants of Maggie Moo's most wonderful flavor of ice cream - RED VELVET! Delicious!

That Friday night we had some friends and family over for an informal birthday party. Rachel wanted Yellow Cake with Chocolate Frosting. Thank you Mark and Lisa for our wonderful monogrammed cake-keeper.

We made a purchase at A. Schwab's, a "birthday hat." We've decided that from now on, during the lighting of the candles and the singing of the happy birthday song, the birthday boy or girl must wear the hat. A tradition is born.

Saturday (July 25th) was actually Rachel's birthday, and we celebrated once more by joining my family in Hot Springs for some time on the lake. We ate at Bella Arti that night (and had another cake). That Sunday, Rachel was able to be a part of a Ward vacation tradition of Steak, Eggs, and Tomatoes for breakfast.

This Summer has been so busy, and we're looking forward to everything slowing down just a little more as we move into Autumn.

Joe Cool Turns Five

2009-07-15T22:58:00.006-05:00

So.... number one canine friend, Travis, just turned five on July 11. He didn't have a party this year - he was at the spa (that's what we call the vet's boarding kennels, so we can feel okay going away for the weekend).

Happy Birthday, Travis!

oh, yeah, happy birthday to my mom (whose birthday is today)

Happily Ever After...

2009-06-29T21:20:00.003-05:00

So.... I finally got married. Yup; tricked some pretty gal into gettin' hitched. Not sure why I just wrote that sentence as if I were at the O.K. Corral, but you get the idea. Yeah, it's been a while since I've updated, and Rachel and I have already celebrated our Two Weekiversary (we went to Wal-Mart). I'll try to recap some events of the last few weeks.

We went to the Rutherford County Clerk's office on June 10, and we applied for our marriage license (way easier than getting a driver's license). Fortunately, by doing some premarital counseling, we saved a little bit of money.

We spent the next few days tidying up the last few arrangements for the wedding, and we had our wedding rehearsal (followed by rehearsal dinner) on June 12. Rachel made her bouquet (which turned out really well) from a bunch of the bridal shower bows; she and Joy saved an extra special (extra large) bow for me to wear as a boutonniere. Our wedding nazis, I mean, wedding coordinators, did a wonderful job (even some of the groomsmen commented on how detailed a job they did).

Rachel and I wed on June 13, 2009. The ceremony started at 5 pm. Rachel and I felt like everything went perfectly; we weren't stressed or upset or distracted. We were able to enjoy the moment and enjoy each other. We laughed through the entire ceremony (no tears); actually my family had taken bets on when during the ceremony I would first giggle (my mom won - when I put the ring on Rachel's hand). We had the petal toss immediately after the ceremony, and we're hoping the "official" pictures turn out as good as this one taken by our friend Amber. I love, love, love Rachel's expression.

Hustler

2009-06-04T00:52:00.009-05:00

So.... do three posts on a single day and the following picture make up for my recent lack of blogging?

This is me wearing red crocs (I think they're my mom's) taking my dad's new zero turning-radius lawn mower out for a spin (literally - I was doing do-nuts all up in their yard). I love the name of the manufacturer! To my dad's chagrin (and my mom's delight), the purchase of the mower didn't include a complimentary magazine subscription.

"Eric, see if you can get some ridge detail from that." Please excuse the CSI reference and my sister's finger in the photo.

Sneak Peek

2009-06-04T00:37:00.004-05:00

So.... I'm offering you a sneak peek of just a lil' sum'en, sum'en that Rachel and I will have for folks at our wedding reception. A little before and after action, just for you, faithful reader.

Our talented friend Lori helped us out with it; she is the freelance graphic designer (and church secretary) who created our Save the Date Cards.

Lazy Man's Post

2009-06-04T00:17:00.003-05:00

So.... Rachel and I were recently featured on our wedding photographer's blog. That's really all I've have to say. Does that count as a post?

Oh, I stole this picture from the photographer's blog and altered it. Now does it count as a post?

I'll get back in the saddle soon.

Excuses?

2009-05-19T00:09:00.002-05:00

So.... I just spent 13 minutes composing, reviewing, checking, rewriting, double-checking, and triple-checking a comment I made on a friend's blog post. No wonder I've gotten so slow at posting to this Blog.

We strive for quality work here at Pursuing Pineapple!

(Is anyone buying this plausible excuse?)

Expiration Date?

2009-05-07T09:30:00.000-05:00

So.... I recently visited my parents; they finally finished building their new home, and this was my first time to stay with them after they were in the house. Those of you who have built a house know how daunting a task it is, and this really is my mom's labor of love - I think she drove out there three times a day during the seven plus months of construction. Her hard work created a gorgeous home, and I'm a little (okay, a lot) jealous of her kitchen.

She was showing me around, expounding eloquently on storage options, organization techniques, and cabinetry details, when she opened the door to the spices.

Something caught my eye, and I had a "one of these things is not like the other" moments.

Safeway. Safeway? Natchitoches doesn't have a Safeway. They've lived there eight years. Wait! Come to think of it, Texarkana (where they lived until moving to Louisiana) hasn't had a Safeway in at least 20 years! And isn't this their third move in the last 20 years? Mom, how long have you had that can of Mustard Seed? Oh, I'm sure I only got it a few years ago...

SELL BY JUL 27 1981.

Impromptu Photo Shoot

2009-05-06T23:55:00.007-05:00

So.... I'm going to pretend it hasn't been seven weeks since I've posted - I hope you'll play along too. I'm going to blame it on preparations for the wedding and marriage. He's a little something to whet your appetite for the wedding.

Our friends Donnie and Lori did a great job on some unofficial engagement photos back in November; we once again conned them into taking some more pictures this past Sunday afternoon. We hadn't planned to take any photos, but they had stopped by the house (they helped us carry our loot home from a wedding shower), and someone said, "let's take some right now." So... we did.

Lori designed our Save the Date Cards, and she will be designing a "married address" card for us as well, but I wanted to stretch my creative muscles, so I "shopped" the following photos - a little heavy handed, but they sure are fun.

- across the street, in front of the neighbor's huge Magnolia tree -

- on the driveway, at the side of the house -

- on the back patio, overlooking the side yard -

Irish Couture

2009-03-17T13:05:00.003-05:00

So.... last year I made a hideously wonderful pair of green trousers for St. Patrick's Day. I wore them for the second time ever today (one year later).

The little kids at the clinic love the crazy pants. I'm just not too sure what the two 18 year old guys in for check-ups had to say about them.

New Toy

2009-03-12T00:31:00.019-05:00

So.... it has almost been a month since my last post, but couldn't you just watch that wolf video every day? No? Okay, here's something: I got a new toy.

My trusty, reliable (and very heavy) eMac turned five years old this month. I'm sure that's essentially the technological equivalent of a stegosaurus, but it's worked just fine until recently, when it started slowing waaaaaaay down.

I ordered a sleek new MacBook (only after I asked the Soon-to-be-Mrs. Pursuing Pineapple if it was okay).

That's actually me working on this post.

I also ordered some extra software - which I totally love. ArtRage Deluxe 2.5 is this neat, inexpensive, simple to use art program with which I've totally spent most of my free time. Check out these pics: the first one is a photo of a Salvador Dali lithograph I have, the second one, I did in about ten minutes with ArtRage (within the first two to three hours of playing with it). I recognize it doesn't have the depth of color or emotion of the litho, but, come on, ten minutes.

I also got a fancy, cool pen and tablet to use with my new laptop and software.

It makes me feel like I work at Pixar or Industrial Light and Magic. Of course, taking a second look at that picture I made, I should probably keep my day job.

I've got a couple of fun little posts planned for later this week/weekend; maybe even a contest with a real prize. Thanks for checking in...

Best Valentine's Gift. Ever.

2009-02-14T15:30:00.001-06:00

So.... here's a video of The Best Valentine's Gift. EVER.

It is so the perfect gift: Duran Duran... stuffed animal... animatronics. What else could a women want for Valentine's Day?

Sorry, Guys, I know I totally put you to shame. Hope your ladies aren't too upset that you didn't have the forethought to get them such an awesome gift. I'll admit - Rachel is one lucky lady.

Going to the Dogs

2009-02-11T10:45:00.001-06:00

So.... congratulations to Ch Clussexx Three D Grinchy Glee! Affectionately known as Stump, this Sussex Spaniel won the 2009 Westminster Kennel Club's Best in Show last night.

Apparently the USA network gets its highest ratings all year when airing this Dog Show. I realize that it takes a little effort to understand (or care about) what is going on, and last night, watching with some people who had never watched before (including some young 20-somethings), made me acutely aware of how important that little bit of effort is.

All they're doing is walking them around; that's stupid (they're showing the dog's gait and form in motion). That dog is ugly; that's stupid (it was bred to look that way for a specific purpose). That dog's too small; that's stupid (it was bred to get into holes to catch vermin). They should make them jump hurdles; this is stupid (that's another sport - Agility). What are they? Just professional dog walkers; that's stupid (no, they are professional handlers - more like a coach, or even a jockey). They should judge those stupid dog walkers; that's stupid (they do, but not at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show). Those little dogs can't save lives or do any work; they're stupid (no, they were bred for a different reason, like killing vermin, hunting fox, companionship, or acting as "alarm" dogs).

I guess there are situations where I react the same way - when I don't take the time to completely understand all that is going on. Oh well, if nothing else, a lesson learned.

Of course, Stump may have won Best in Show, but Travis is still my favorite.

Authority?

2009-02-10T23:40:00.002-06:00

So.... on my authority as an (un)elected (un)official, I call for the swift, immediate, and accurate evaluation of the tax records of each U.S. Senator and U.S. Representative. Yeah, like that's going to happen.

Furthermore, I don't think you have the right to enact laws if you don't obey them (tax cheaters). I don't think you should head up a department (Commerce, for example) if you once voted to disband such department. I don't think you should be confirmed as the Deputy Attorney General if you have fought for the rights of child pornographers.

That's enough politics for now. I promise to be back to the fun stuff later this weekend.

Boo! (and it ain't Halloween)

2009-01-26T22:04:00.000-06:00

So.... today the US Senate confirmed Timothy Geithner as the 75th Treasury secretary.

I say BOO!

Appointed by President Obama, this is the person who is in charge of the IRS; uhm....
HE DIDN'T PAY HIS TAXES!

"A careless mistake," which Geithner failed to correct until he was chosen for the position of Treasury secretary. He owed ~$34,000 in unpayed taxes, and finally payed over $47,000 in taxes and fees.

Several Senators said that they wouldn't typically confirm someone with this suspect history, but they felt he was the right person for the job in this time of economic distress. Really? Really? There is only one person in the United States of America who has the competency to steer the Treasury Department? Then, my friends, we are in deeper trouble than it would appear.

I find it interesting that in light of "change we can believe in" and that "our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some" and "those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account -- to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day," yes, in light of those Presidential quotes, a tax cheat now runs the IRS.

I say boo to the sixty yes-voting Senators! I say boo to our silver-tongued President! I say boo to tax-cheating Secretary Geithner. Yeah, I know they aren't reading this, but none the less, I say boo!

Tag! You're.... a coincidence

2009-01-14T23:22:00.003-06:00

So.... I was graciously "tagged" to participate in a bloggy chain mail thing by Raising Rascals (thanks Amber), where you go to the fourth file of your photos and pick the fourth picture, post it, and then tag more folks. Well, the way my photos are set up is a little more complicated than the instructions (only because my computer does it automatically - I can barely put my socks in the correct dresser drawer). So following Lisa's Little Slice's lead, I picked the fourth (well only) photo from the fourth sub-folder from the fourth folder from 2008, and, oh my gosh, it is actually one of the photos (the bottom one) that I had already planned to use for my next post! Ooohhhhh. Creeeepy. (No, I'm for real. It really happened that way).

Oh, well, here's the story. My friend, MLW, who was featured in my most recent post is also the subject of this one. I'm really not gunning for her; I was looking through an old email file to find someone else's email address, and I came across the email that is described below. After laughing out loud at my own hilarity, I decided a post was in order.

MLW, who lives in the DC area, graciously sent a thoughtful email to a few friends:

From the Washington Post. I just thought it looked yummy, and I wanted to
share it with my baking friends.
MLW

Being the smart aleck that I am, I responded in the following manner:

I made brownies last night and thought I'd share the recipe I used.
-Aaron

I promise - No more MLW posts for a while... Thanks for being a good sport.

Careful what you wish for...

2009-01-08T22:17:00.004-06:00

So.... it has been a while since I've posted. Well, you didn't need me to tell you that, but I guess I needed you to tell me.

I was talking on the phone this evening with some dear friends of mine, and both husband and wife commented on my need to blog (almost a month since the last post - I was really hoping that Chrismon story would keep you occupied). I expressed my apologies and offered some excuse about being busy (work, wedding, etc...).

After finishing the telephone conversation, and instead of blogging (with a lack of clever topics jumping to mind), I continued working on entering names and addresses into a database for the correspondence for our upcoming nuptials. We're getting the information together for the calligrapher for the invitations as well as in anticipation of printing address labels for the Save the Date cards (which Rachel was only a little annoyed when I started calling them STD cards - actually she thought it was funny). There was a random Texas address that I didn't have in my address book, on facebook, in a phone book, or in my collection of the past few years' Christmas Cards, so I went rifling through a desk drawer to find a card that I knew the Texas addressee had sent this past year. Along with the Texan's card, I found a lovely handwritten letter (on two sticky notes) from the wife of the couple to whom I was talking earlier, the very same person that was encouraging me to blog again. This note, which was taped to the front door of my friend's house to let me know why she wasn't answering the door, is at least six years old.

This note helps to explain why I love this couple and use the adjective "dear" to describe them. Hopefully they won't mind being the topic of this blog post (but they asked for it).

Thanks to all you great friends who keep me laughing.

Chrismon

2008-12-12T07:01:00.001-06:00

So.... this year at my church, as a congregation, we are decorating a Chrismon tree. A Chrismon is a handmade ornament with a design that symbolizes Christ. The name is derived from the words Christ and Monogram. Originated in 1957 by Francis Spencer, the daughter of Lutheran missionaries, Chrismons are used by churches of several denominations to decorate their sanctuaries.

I started out with my pattern, a fleur-de-lis, some left over white polar fleece and gold lame.

My first attempt failed miserably. I tried to use my serger to put two pieces of fleece together, but I couldn't really get into the curves, nooks, and crannies like I needed to. My serger has a knife that cuts the fabric as it is being stitched, so my fleur-de-lis started looking more like the Bat-Man symbol.

Attempt number two only yielded slightly better results. Stitched on my old trusty cheap-o sewing machine, it looks more like it is supposed to, but the fleece was too stretchy and the cut aways made it all janky looking.

The third time's the charm - well, sort of. I ditched the fleece and found some old craft felt. Using a slightly more stylized pattern, this (what I'm calling successful) Chrismon has the handmade feel, but also adheres to my secondary world view of going over the top (my primary world view being hospitality).

There's always a huge mess after unbridled creativity (I so totally need a dedicated "project room" in my house).

Stockings were hung by the chimney with care...

2008-12-11T17:27:00.003-06:00

So.... along with my spectacle of a Christmas tree, I decorated the mantle with greenery, lights, decorations, stockings, and collected figurines.

I bought new stockings this year (because I needed three that coordinated, instead of just two).

So Santa would know who's stocking was whose, I personalized each with a small photo frame ornament. Hopefully, Santa would have figured out that the high-heeled boot stocking was Rachel's without the photo, but he's awfully busy on Christmas Eve.

I love the little frame I found for Rachel's picture, and the picture of Travis is pretty cute too (especially on that stocking with all those sequins).

Here's a close up of some of the figurines on the mantle. They are Byers Choice Carolers. The boy was given to me by my friends Patrick and Monica. A caroling Jack Russell Terrier sits next to him.

Nostalgic Spectacle

2008-12-02T19:55:00.003-06:00

So.... I'm essentially finished decorating for Christmas. The past few years have seen the big tree in the living room with gold decorations, but I was inspired a couple of months ago to change things up. I'd move the gold decor to the smaller (dining room) tree and use the big tree as a backdrop for my more sentimental ornaments. The idea was to have a nostalgic tree, one similar to my childhood. Of course, I sometimes cannot leave well enough alone, and my sweet, endearing, memory-laden tree was transformed into, what else, a Nostalgic Spectacle!

First things first: colored lights! Last year on the big tree, I blew a (non-replaceable) fuse on the extension cord (snaked through the middle of the tree) that was apparently overloaded with too many strands (five days before Christmas). This year, I have 1300 lights on two separate extension cords, plugged into a power strip, plugged into a remote controlled outlet. Yes, you read that right... a remote controlled outlet - no crawling under the tree, no clap on - clap off, no blindly stomping through the tree skirt to find the toe tapper switch, just a simple push of a button and the blinding fury that is my Christmas Spectacle illuminates the living room!

The idea was to make the special ornaments the "star attraction" and just have simple glass (or plastic) Christmas balls as the "backup dancers." Well, a couple of trips to Hobby Lobby with all their Christmas decorations on sale for half price gets you a whole lot of "backup dancers."

At one point during the decorating, I said to myself, "That looks really nice - just enough." Of course, I had yet to add a single metallic berry, shiny pick, sparkle wand, glitter crinkle, or glass grape, and it's not like I can add just a couple of those things. I proudly stand by the fact that the statement, "He just didn't go over the top enough," has never been said in reference to me.

I started collecting Mark Roberts Santas a few years ago, and I usually use one of them as the tree topper; however, in the spirit of nostalgia, I used a not so expensive, not so collectable Santa as the topper, and he totally works to bring the theme together.

Actually, I bought this Santa four Christmases ago at Wal-Mart. He was the very first topper on that same big Christmas tree (which I bought on sale) in my first house during my first year in private practice.

Photo Op

2008-11-18T22:30:00.007-06:00

So.... on Rachel's last visit, we conned our friends Lori and Donnie into taking Un-Official Engagement Photos of us. Being the wonderful friends that they are, they happily agreed. We scoured all of Arkadelphia to find the perfect locations. No, the trash container wasn't the perfect location - just an homage to my family (owning/ having owned trash companies).

We started off at Feaster Trail. It was just a little too early in the season to get much in the way of Autumn color, but the pictures looked great. The setting is so good that it almost looks like an Olan Mills background was rolled down behind us.

We eventually made our way downtown to get some "urban" shots (the alley behind the Beehive is as urban as it gets here). We actually got a great picture (not shown) that we'll probably use as a Save The Date Card (which Lori is designing for us).

The old church/dry cleaners at Caddo and 7th made a great location. Donnie has this great little Polaroid camera that does these neat panoramic shots.

Click on the pictures to see them enlarged.

This photo, probably one of my favorites, was taken in the wooded area between our clinic and the hospital.

Thanks for enduring my obvious narcissism, but they're really good pictures! Donnie and Lori do a great job; of course, with subjects like Rachel and me, how could you go wrong?

Autumn Engagement Party

2008-11-05T23:43:00.002-06:00

So.... my family hosted the first official celebration of our upcoming nuptials. Rachel came to visit this past weekend, and we thought we might invite some people over. I mentioned this to my mom who turned "might invite some people over" into engagement extravaganza, and I wouldn't have had it any other way! The party certainly gave me impetus to get the house finished, and aside from some neglected landscaping and a couple of janky ceiling fans, the house was complete prior to the party.

I ordered flowers from Mary and Martha's Florists, and the owner David did a wonderful job.

Entry Hall Table (please notice the new pineapple lamp)

The centerpiece for the coffee table was gorgeous (and massive).

Instead of one centerpiece for the dining room, I ordered three small arrangements that we were able to scatter amongst the buffet.

Earlier that day, Mom, Rachel, and I set up the buffet table, making sure there was a platter, bowl or tray for everything.

The invitations stated "6pm Open House." Well, all of central Arkansas poured into my house promptly at 6:02. It was so exciting to see everybody show up to wish us well. Rachel and I stood in the entry hall and greeted our guests as they arrived. My wonderful family did a phenomenal job of "catering" and hosting. Thanks go to Gabe, Rebecca, Hannah and Tyler for dips, snacks, and fruit. Thanks to Ray (Dad) for the fire pit and roasted pork. Thanks to Matt for all of his help and for the photos of the party. Kaitlin and Tricia (Mom) prepared a majority of the dishes and made sure the table was full of food throughout the party.

The friends were many, the food was great, and the energy was palpable.

Friends visit with one another in the living room.

Guests enjoy the opium den... er, I mean the cozy sun porch.

Neal and the college men station themselves in the dining room (right by the buffet table).

Rachel and Lori smile for a photo op, while Donnie enjoys the witty banter of adult sophistication.

The Kears graciously endure one of my boring anecdotes.

Thanks to all of our friends who traveled near (around the corner) and far (Gurdon, Little Rock, Louisiana, the Deer Woods) to help us celebrate our engagement. We hate that some of you couldn't make it that evening (that's okay, it meant more food for us). Rachel and I are overwhelmingly blessed to have you in our lives and enthusiastically appreciate your friendship.

Halloween Fun

2008-11-03T13:04:00.003-06:00

So.... we had a little fun on Halloween this year. No maniacal pumpkin killers like last year, but I still gave out full size candy bars. We had about 170 trick-or-treaters - that's approaching my Tennessee Halloweens.

Rachel spent the weekend in Arkadelphia with me. We won't be able to spend Thanksgiving or Christmas together this year, but we weren't missing a Halloween together for anything. We dressed as Fred and Wilma. One kid said, "you're either a caveman or Fred the Flintstone." My sister's boyfriend thought my wig made me look like Clay Aiken, and I agree that the wig looks flat-ironed (but nowhere near Aiken standards).

Travis also dressed up. He was Dino, but only for about 3 minutes, despite the frantic effort that Rachel and I gave to get it ready that afternoon.

Not too shabby of a dog costume for 1.5 hours (with no prior planning or pattern).

Part of the fun with dressing up is having trick-or-treaters recognize you (or wonder who you are because they can't quite place you). I gave an enthusiastic "Hey!" to one Dad, and he had quite a puzzled look on his face until he realized I was his daughter's pediatrician. I was asking one "tween" what her costume was, and her intrigued but repulsed reply was, "You're my doctor!" Our favorite quote of the evening was from an 11 year old boy (with a group of his friends) who stated quite loudly, "Hey, you're the doctor that figured out I had constipation!"

Since Rachel was in town, we celebrated by having an informal party (costumes were of course required). Donnie made his pumpkin head costume from scratch; it was an amazing piece of wearable sculpture. Lori made a wave pattern skirt and came as Leanne Marshall, winner of Project Runway Season 5.

Rachel S. came as Sarah Palin.

My sister Kaitlin and her boyfriend Matt wore camouflage and came as "Upper and Lower GI."

My mom teased out her hair, wore big jewelry, and carried around boxes of butter. You guessed it... Paula Deen.

Rachel even tried on Donnie's pumpkin head.

Meet the Flintstones

2008-11-03T12:39:00.003-06:00

So.... Rachel and I chose the Flintstones as our theme for Halloween.

More later... I promise.

Surprise Visit

2008-10-18T09:10:00.003-05:00

So.... Rachel made a surprise visit last weekend. We had both had crummy weeks, but her visit made it all better.

-My two favorites-

Dining Companion

2008-10-08T00:01:00.001-05:00

So.... sometimes at Sonic I let Travis order for both of us.

None of the Above

2008-10-07T21:48:00.010-05:00

So.... Arrrgghhhh! The Presidential debate was such a disappointment. Neither of them answered the questions. All they did was regurgitate their campaign talking points. I had heard it all before. I actually like both McCain and Obama less after the debate than before. Isn't a debate supposed to help you decide for whom you want to vote or inspire you to rally around your chosen candidate?

I think part of the problem was their apparel. Obama's tie was totally lavender, and I don't know what McCain was thinking with that pink striped piece of work, or that ill-fitting suit jacket. Don't their campaigns pay people to consider how a color is going to read on television?

I was annoyed with the format (well the inability to stick to the format). Some pundits spoke ill of Tom Brokaw and his aggravation with the candidates not adhering to the rules of the debate. I have no problem with Tom on this point - I like order, and even Presidential candidates should play by the rules (Tom was just bringing some very needed oversight and regulation to the debate). I was more offended by Brokaw when at the very end, being the consummate professional that he is, he very obviously darted his head to-and-fro to read the teleprompter (and told the candidates to move)! Tom, can't you wing it by now? Make up something! I was also annoyed with the way that the candidates made sure to tell the undecided Nashville area voters (yeah, right) how great their boring and unimaginative questions were. And come on, Undecided Middle Tennessee Voter, practice your question before you read it live on national television! And don't wear magenta dress shirts! Where on God's Green Earth does any self-respecting man buy a magenta dress shirt (to wear to a Presidential debate)? That guy is probably the one who picked out the candidate's neckties.

I did enjoy the moment when the Senator from Illinois said his opponent thought he was "green behind the ears." What a mixed metaphor! Green? Green-horn? Wet behind the ears? Green around the gills? What did you mean to say, oh, Great Orator?

McCain sure didn't win any points with me with this HOME Plan which gives deserving Americans the "opportunity to trade a burdensome mortgage for a manageable loan that reflects their home's market value." How much is that going to cost? Way more than this ill-conceived debacle of a Bail-Out Bill! Is there no personal responsibility anymore? Where's my gov'ment check?

I am completely unimpressed and underwhelmed with both candidates. By the way, I know you can be over- or under-, but can you ever just be whelmed? Sorry. So... I am not pleased with either option. Can I mark "none of the above"? Oh where, oh where has my Huckabee gone? I'd probably be happier with the other viable Arkansan option... gasp... dare I say.... Hilary? Scandal! I know, but I really think she'd do a better job than either of the two that will be President. Those of you who know me (and my politics) well, know just how telling a statement that last one is.

My favorite part of the debate was when I fantasized about one of the candidates running over and hitting his opponent in the back of the head with his microphone. So, who will I vote for on November 4th? Who I always vote for: the lesser of two evils.

Actually, in living out my Pursuing Pineapple World View, I'll probably vote for the candidate whose spouse will be most likely to do the least amount of damage to the White House.

Dancing Dog Art Shop

2008-10-04T22:31:00.004-05:00

So.... this past spring I went a little crazy with eBay. I won a few auctions for some art and art books that I wanted; then I started buying more because I decided I could start selling them myself on eBay. I've obviously been involved in too many projects because only today did I finally post some items for sale. I honestly was a little overwhelmed with the process for listing something to sell (I think I was just too worried that I might mess up). I'm sure that for some of you eBay is old hat, but I'm still new to selling, and I was very excited to see that three of my auctions already had people "watching" them!

The original plan for Dancing Dog Art Shop was to purchase original lithographs, have them custom framed, and sell them in a retail store (probably one of the many stores - clothing, art, bakery, bed & breakfast, books - that I've planned on opening); eBay seemed a lot easier. So, I amassed a small collection of mid century art prints and lithographs, established an eBay "seller" identity (dancingdogartshop), had stationery printed, opened a free checking account at my bank, authenticated my PayPal, and waited until I was bored enough or desperate enough for extra cash (Do I hear wedding bells?) to start selling. Well, today was the day!

I spent almost three hours just going through a couple of the books and folios that I have, to pick out just a dozen pieces to sell. I would have had more items, but first I went through and culled out the pieces that I wanted. This 1948 Matisse print was saved from the auction block as I was typing up the listing - something about the blue striped wall and the red on the shutters wouldn't let me part with it. Now that's atypical - not an exposed chicken boob in sight!

I spent another three hours typing the listings into eBay. Don't worry; by the end of the day, I had gotten the hang of it.

Oh, and Travis, the Dancing Dog, he kept busy too, supervising from his position on the sofa, the bed, or the floor.

Pursuing Pineapple... Electable?

2008-10-02T22:27:00.006-05:00

So.... as I'm sure many of you did this evening, I watched the Vice Presidential Debate (Sarah Palin vs. Joe Biden). I am fairly sure that I would not make a very electable politician because when confronted with a question or comment which I felt strongly about, I would be more likely to say what I truly believe as opposed to saying what sounds good to "Main Street America."

When asked who was to blame for the problems with the economy/mortgage debacle, Palin enthusiastically attacked the predatory lenders (who are to blame), but I would have also added (getting on my high horse, likely only to face the same fate as Eight Belles) that those borrowers who knowingly and willingly did their best to take advantage of the situation to buy a house that was significantly out of their means of ownership are also to blame. I hate when anyone goes through tragedy, and I wouldn't wish the situation of losing a home on anyone, but those people who intentionally borrowed more money than they could afford or borrowed more on a house than it was worth must face the consequences of their actions.

Biden at one point in the debate stated that he and his ticket mate supported legislation that allowed bankruptcy judges to not only rewrite the terms of someone's mortgage (the interest rate) but also to rewrite the amount of principal owed. At that point in the debate, I would have inappropriately (or appropriately) shouted, "Oh, hell no!" and furrowed my brow disapprovingly. Why does the person who made a bad financial decision get a free pass? I'm not saying I'm better than anyone else, smarter than anyone else, or have a better sense of style than any one else. I'm no financial sophisticate, but I bought a house I can afford, drive a dented, payed-for car, rarely pay full price for clothes (or shoes), and buy the cheapest dog treats available. Why should I not be rewarded? Judges should not be able to "rewrite" the principal owed on a home! If you borrowed the money, you need to repay it! I can't go back to Kohl's tomorrow and tell them that I'm going to change the amount that I payed for the jeans that I bought earlier today (which were on sale - yeah, I know, everything's on sale at Kohl's every other week).

Citizens, we have a responsibility to make responsible decisions! We must be disciplined in our budgeting, saving, and spending! We should not buy things we cannot afford! Before agreeing to a contract, we should read the fine print (the title company people are surprised that I've read the documents I've signed at my house closings - that's ridiculous)! We should not borrow money (or print money, you listening to me Washington) without considering the cost!

Thanks for enduring my rantings. Usually my diatribes deal with uncontrollable giggling, forsaken yard work, or mean old women in Wal-Mart, so I felt I was allowed this one focusing on something of substance. Please understand I am compassionate; please know that I genuinely feel for those honest people who have been taken advantage of and those hard-working people who have fallen on hard times.

So, though I feel I would probably do a good job if elected (not that I have any intentions or aspirations), I doubt I would be elected because I'm likely to (too quickly) speak my mind and say things people don't want to hear. No matter, I'm sure at the nano-second that I had my above mentioned outburst, Dr. James Dobson would call for a boycott against me, and my credibility with the "religious right" would be gone, but "Joe Six-Pack" might like me a little more, and I'm sure my siblings would have enjoyed hearing me cus on national television.

Root Canal

2008-09-30T19:40:00.001-05:00

So.... immediately after my root canal back in August, I started writing this "Dear John Letter," but only now, after a time of healing, am I able to finish it.

My Dearest Endodontist,

I hate to write this letter.

Ever since my friendly neighborhood dentist introduced me to you, I've been enamored with the idea of you forcing yourself upon my pulp and enamel. I've longed to have dozens of your tiny files jammed and twisted into my nerves' canals. My heart was a flutter with the thought of me sitting nervously, captive and victim to your every dental whim.

But, no! You had to destroy my idyllic oral utopia. You failed to even introduce yourself before shoving your gorilla size hands into my mouth. The horrible rubber mouth guard you muffled over my face! Endodontist, you didn't even ask if I was latex allergic! You do realize that I saw you look away while filing my teeth, right? You probably weren't even thinking of me or my needs (even if that need was to spit).

Now to be fair, you give a shot like no other. Pain? No, there was no pain, but that doesn't mean I wasn't hurt. Yes, I was hurt! Hurt that you didn't know what procedure I needed, hurt that you didn't even know my name until you were almost finished, hurt to give you several hundreds of dollars (at the time that services were rendered) and you didn't even shake my hand.

Oh, Endodontist, why did it have to end like this? Gone are the halcyon days of fluoride gel and easy listening music... why couldn't this relationship work out? Why couldn't you have showed the most basic of courtesies? In officially severing this relationship, the only thing left to say is: You're No Pediatrician!

Sincerely,
Pursuing Pineapple

I Popped the Question - She Said YES!

2008-09-04T12:00:00.000-05:00

So.... if you haven't guessed by now, I'm engaged! I proposed to Rachel on Friday, August 29, and, fortunately, she said yes! I'll try to distill the evening into as few a words and pictures as possible.

I arrived into town for the long weekend on Thursday afternoon. I had Rachel's favorite bouquet, white lilies and red roses, delivered a few hours before I got to Murfreesboro.

To distract her from thinking about other pieces of jewelry, I gave her this necklace when I arrived (sterling silver fleur-de-lis with blue and purple peacock pearls).

We've known each other about 4 years now, and we have been pursuing a relationship since Spring. We spent lots of time together when I lived in Tennessee, hanging out with friends, but since we've actually been "dating," we've only gone out by ourselves just a few times (a long distance relationship will do that).We joke about never going on dates, so I told her we'd get dressed up and go out to a nice restaurant. I brought her a bouquet of gerbera daisies (her favorite) for our "date." We had been visiting some friends that afternoon, and after I dropped Rachel off at her house to get ready for our night out, I ran by the florist to pick up the daisies. On the way to the florist, a flash rainstorm started (apparently directly over my car) - I can literally say that I went through Hail and High Water to propose to Rachel!

I knew where I wanted to propose - our church home in Murfreesboro, Third Baptist Church. That is where God brought us together and where we developed our friendship. The church recently renovated some areas, including building a little prayer garden complete with benches and a waterfall - that would be the perfect spot. How do I get her there without arousing her suspicion? A few weeks before my visit I had suggested that we needed to get more pictures of the two of us together. "Rachel, where's a good place to get pictures made"? After she made a few suggestions, I commented that I'd seen some of her pictures on Facebook that were taken at the prayer garden. When I picked her up that evening, I suggested that since we were dressed up we go take a few pictures. We got to the church - I was a little worried that there would be random college kids everywhere since they were doing a movie night in the back parking lot. No students to be found, whew! I set up the tripod and camera (weeks of foreshadowing kept her from being suspicious).

Below is the first picture we took. The ring was in my left pocket, so I didn't want to get too close. How embarrassing! Poor Rachel is trying to lean in a little bit. I reviewed the first pic, and resolved to do better.

In the second picture, I'm at least in the same time zone, but nerves had completely taken over and I looked very scared (and pale as one of our friend's pointed out). I have a "deer in the headlights" look.

I tried to do better on other pictures. I started screaming "limburger cheese" during the camera countdown for this shot.

Now, we come to the moment of truth! After that last shot, I went back up to the camera and switched it over to video. I pushed the button and got back in place...

My apologies for my incessant nervous giggling. I was going to edit this, but I couldn't get the audio to work when I tried, so I've posted it in it's entirety - all 2 minutes and 23 seconds of it, including all 27 kisses (that's a kiss every 5.3 seconds). Sorry about the make out session in the prayer garden!

Obviously, she said yes, and we were both very excited!

After all the huggin' and squeezin' and kissin' we got back in my car. I had typed out a letter (more like a short story) about our relationship and about finding the right ring. It was eleven pages, but it was 18 point font, so I don't feel too bad. During reading that letter, she cried... I cried... It was a sweet moment.

I called my parents to let them know that she said yes. My mom had called me earlier that day to tell me that she was praying for us; she started praying that afternoon when she heard Benny and the Jets on the radio -Rachel's ringtone on my phone. My family was very excited. We then went over to see Rachel's parents, to tell them. I had gone to ask her Dad that morning for Rachel's hand in marriage. He told me, "Well, I don't know you. I guess it's up to her." Her mom asked if I'd already insured the ring.

We then made our rounds, announcing our good news and showing off the bling! Lots of fun! We even met Patrick and Monica in the Target parking lot to talk to them. We never made it to our fancy restaurant, so we stopped by Sonic. We had Fritos Chili Cheese Wraps and Route 44 Dr. Peppers.

Finally, we had a little time to reflect on our evening. Our friends Misty Leigh and Marty encouraged us to "enjoy the moment."

I'm really excited!

This is a picture from the next night - we still can't stop smiling!

Engaged!

2008-09-01T22:54:00.003-05:00

So....

more pictures later, working on a quick little video, I posted an album to facebook tonight if you can't wait. Thanks for all the "well wishes!"

She Said YES

2008-08-29T23:52:00.003-05:00

So.... soon there will be a Mrs. PursuingPineapple. Yes, I popped the question, and she said yes. Further details to follow, including perhaps some video of the proposal! More later.... I promise!

Guys Night Out

2008-08-16T00:21:00.005-05:00

So.... do you think Jesus played poker with His disciples? You know, Thursday nights were exclusively reserved for playing Bethlehem Hold 'Em. No? Well, my church planned alternating "night outs" for the women and the men congregants. I think the women had their Ladies Night Out last week - I'm sure it involved lipstick shopping and listening to Beth Moore. The guys wanted to do something, but we were unsure as to what we should do. An email was sent asking if men were planning on coming, but I had my reservations. I spoke to one of the pastors and explained that if we were going to consume vast quantities of meat or if we were going to a demolition derby, I would totally be there. However, if we were going 'coon huntin' or frog giggin' I'd be less likely to attend. Neal, upset that he hadn't thought of frog giggin' before I did, agreed to the eating of beef and suggested a poker game. To ensure no murmuring or mumbling, we decided that all the money used to "buy in" would be donated to Fellowship Nicaragua a mission organization supported by our church. Somehow I volunteered my house as the site for this night of masculinity.

Men started showing up around five-thirty - well, I think a couple of them were there before that, but seeing as how I didn't get home until 5:30, they didn't come inside until I unlocked the door (all crazy parents within a 15 mile radius decided their children must be seen at 4:45 the one day of the week that I'm trying to leave at 5pm). A grill was delivered to my back patio (I don't have one), and in accordance with the stipulation B.Y.O.B. (bring your own beef), men arrived with all manner of cuts of meat. Steak and potatoes were feasted upon as the heady aroma of charcoal and seared beef wafted through my paint-splattered carport.
After gorging ourselves on our protein of choice, we split into two tables to play some high stakes (the winner won a can of Slim Jims) Texas Hold 'Em. No, like totally serious playing, with titanium travel cases of regulation chips, dealer buttons, buy in rules, little blinds, big blinds, duck blinds, er, maybe not; oh, and time limits. Yes, time limits - that brings us to the kitchen timer. So, Kirk says, "Hey, Aaron, you got a kitchen timer." "Uhhh, yeah, let me get it," I reply as a smirk becomes apparent on my face. I go grab the wonderful little chicken egg timer that Becky Latch got me for Christmas last year. I made sure to explain that, "it was a gift." By the end of the night, all the fellows had grown to love the chicken timer, and it was decided by all that my fowl little timer would be included in the tradition of future poker nights.

Serious play ensued (as soon as I printed out some poker cheat sheets that explained which hand beat what), including the use of my new very loud, automatic card shuffler which I claimed was given to me by my Grandmother on her deathbed (I really bought it at Wal-Mart the day before). It did remind me of Granny (paternal grandmom), but her card shuffler had to be cranked by hand. I'm sure she's looking up at us with love, may she rest in peace. We were betting, checking, losing, winning, buying back in (with the proceeds going to missions), and every twenty minutes the chicken egg timer would ring, which denoted that the blinds and bets had to be doubled. We all seemed to have forgotten to take our Ritalin because every seventeen seconds someone would comment, "whose turn is it," "can I just check," "is it pronounced suit or sweet," "how much is the little blind," "no, you have to bet the big blind," at which point I entertained a few other players by muttering, "I love you little. I love you big. I love you like a stinky pig." Thanks for laughing, Eric.

When only ten players remained we all moved to one table to finish this Strip Mall Baptist Poker Death Match. I quickly lost my chips (I think I only won one hand all night), and one by one other players fell by the wayside. After I was out of play, I still enjoyed being part of the action by shuffling the deck (with my extremely loud automatic shuffler). The final three players (interestingly enough, all on staff at the church) headed into the final showdown after taking Kirk's last chips, at which point, he became the "dummy blind," and I remained the "dummy shuffler." Neal forced the last hand of the night by going all in after the flop, the turn was dealt, and he won only as the dealer placed the last card. This proved the validity of my statement, which I repeated probably too many times tonight, "Everyone knows you can lose your shirt in the river."

Macro "Thursday"

2008-08-14T23:43:00.003-05:00

So.... sorry it's been over a week since I've posted, and this one isn't spectacular, but here it is:

Macro shot of some ceramic tchotchke collecting dust. The shot is a little Georgia O'Keefe-esque, no?

So When Considering Fashion... #1

2008-08-04T23:51:00.000-05:00

So.... on my commute to work today, all seven-tenths of a mile of it, I noticed a SUV pull suddenly out of a parking lot and onto the street right behind me, followed me closely, and then made the turn down another street with me. My mind flashed, "What are those crazies doing," and then my inner monologue screamed, "I hope it isn't What Not to Wear." Now, don't worry, I totally recognize this to be insanity, first for the fact that I thought TLC was stalking me and secondly for the fact that I comment on my inner monologue (which apparently screams occasionally). Don't get me wrong, I don't think I dress poorly enough to get on that show, but I'd totally fake wearing ill-fitting suits, tie dye t-shirts, and parachute pants to have two stylists take me shopping in New York.

Alas, it was neither Stacy nor Clinton. (Don't you think that the new James Bond, Daniel Craig, looks like a buff Clinton Kelly?) Stacy's really kind of hot, though, right? Anyway, I was too consumed with the fact that I only had six minutes before my first appointment to see where the SUV went after I turned into the clinic.

My infatuation with What Not to Wear has faded over the last year. I think mostly because they rarely re-wardrobe men anymore. So, yeah, I like fashion but not really women's fashion. I mean the only fashion show I've ever been to was the one at the fountain in Central Mall in Texarkana. My sister - maybe three years old at the time - was asked to be a model for Little Tots and Teens, a children's clothing store where my mom dropped serious cash for jumpers and dresses and bows back in the late 80's. I really don't even remember Kaitlin walking the "runway;" I just remember the one humiliated boy, wearing pastel "short-alls," whose mom insisted that he do cartwheels down the runway, and him looking like he so totally did not want to be there.

So, I like men's fashion. Well, maybe I just want to look put together. Of course, I wore flip-flops to work today - not sure if that qualifies as "put together." In my defense, the temperature is in the triple digits right now here in sunny, humid Arkansas. I'm sure if Robin Williams wore flip-flops in that stupid Patch Adams movie, everybody would think it was the most creative thing ever. I just get sideways glances from old grannies.

This was so not where I was going with this post. Anyway, sometimes I really would like for a stylist to take me shopping, but stylists probably don't let people shop exclusively at Wal-Mart, Old Navy, Kohls, and Target. But I'm still stylish (mostly) even if I am frugal (sort of). I will say that I thought wearing brown leather loafers, sans socks, with my seersuckers when Rachel and I were in Memphis was totally stylish and cool (of course, I had actually forgotten to pack socks, but none the less, stylish and cool).

So... getting back to the fact that I'm looking to other sources for fashion instruction (since becoming less enamored with TLC's fashion ambush). About a year ago, I happened upon a blog that I really enjoy reading, well, really I just look at the pictures. The Sartorialist, blogged by Scott Schuman, has been selected as one of Time Magazine's Top 100 Design Influencers (no, really the top of the blog says so - maybe I need to put something like that at the top of mine, hmmm). Schuman is a fashion photographer, and he started the blog, posting pics he had taken of people he saw on the streets of NYC who were "fashionable." Now, I don't 'get' all of the fashion choices in his shots, but it is an interesting blog to follow, and he's a great photographer.

All of this to say that, in anti-homage (I guess that's parody) to The Sartorialist, I'm posting my first So When Considering Fashion... entry.

On the Street - Beale Street Chic in Memphis

Her companion was overheard to have said, "Red makes me look good. I look sexy in red. Red makes me look fine. Uhh, that shirt has too much red."

9:30 Walgreen's Run (gone awry)

2008-08-01T22:08:00.005-05:00

So.... have you ever been sitting at home on a Friday night and realized that you needed something, and Walgreen's is about to close? No, you've never experienced that? Is that because your Walgreen's is open 24 hours? I mean seriously, what's the use in having a Walgreen's if it isn't open 24 hours a day! Come on! Anyway, I needed some diet Coke, so I went to pick up a 12 pack.

That simple run for diet Coke turned into one of the weirdest combinations of impulse purchases that I've made in a while.

Let's see, diet Coke, beef jerky, Ped Egg... What??? Yes, folks, that is a Ped Egg, as seen on TV. Yeah, it's probably for girls, but my feet get calloused, and I have dry skin... Not helping my case, am I? Well, just so you know, it doesn't work quite as miraculously as the commercial claims.

I did get a man-ly can of smoked almonds - they weren't as good as the $10 ones from the hotel honor bar that I had last week.

I then picked two men's magazines, and headed to the back aisle to grab a bag of PoppyCock. I mean really, should the clerk be allowed to sell you sweet, caramelized, pecan-covered popcorn and Men's Health at the same time?

But just think of all the protein I'm getting from the beef jerky and almonds.

Happy Birthday, Rachel!

2008-07-25T00:24:00.006-05:00

So.... today is Rachel's Birthday. Happy Birthday, Rachel! We celebrated with a quick trip to Memphis. Wednesday night, we stayed at The Madison, had dinner at Grill 83 (tiny crab cakes, corn pudding, foie gras BLT, fried quail egg - yum, yum), and spent some time up on The Madison's rooftop patio.

The evening was cool, and there was a breeze blowing. It was really nice.

On Thursday, after watching the Ducks at the Peabody and before entertaining angels (see yesterday's post), we hung out at Beale Street.

A. Schwab's is an old mercantile which sells all manner of crazy stuff, including fun hats. Rachel would try one on,

then I'd find one,

then Rachel,

then me...

Across the street is a fun little store called Strange Cargo. First Rachel found a pair of sunglasses,

then I tried a pair,

then Rachel,

then me...

Happy Birthday, Rachel! I had a great time. I hope you have a wonderful day!

The Peabody "March"

2008-07-24T22:35:00.005-05:00

So.... I met RachelBaby in Memphis to celebrate her Birthday a few days early. We stayed at The Madison, a nice boutique hotel (more about that later), but found ourselves with two interesting experiences involving The Peabody Hotel.

Our first (and more famous) is the march of the Peabody Ducks from the rooftop, to the elevator, out of the elevator, through the hotel lobby, and into the fountain.

I had seen the march of the ducks years ago, but I had forgotten how excited people of all ages get about these ducks. People were pushing, squatting, leaning, and crawling on the floor, vying for a better vantage point. Oh, and don't think Rachel and I didn't strong arm our way past some old ladies to get our spots!

We were walking up Beale (our feet weren't even a foot off the ground, much less ten) past the touristy, cordoned off section of the street and were headed up to Main when we saw this statue of The King.
I had already snapped a shot of Rachel, when a "wanderer" offered to take our photo. We begrudgingly agreed - I was sure that he was going to run off with my camera, but he didn't. He made sure we liked the photo, and then he asked if we could help him. I said, "You took a picture - I'll give you a dollar." He said that he didn't want money - he wanted some help to feed his family. We happily told him that we'd buy him and his family some food; after I asked if he knew where a grocery store was, He replied that there was one a couple of blocks away. I encouraged him to lead the way (making sure we stayed on the main, busy streets).
As we were walking, he told us of his family and his recent problems with homelessness and unemployment (It looks like he could get work as a photographer - his picture was better than most of mine). As we drew closer to our destination, I realized that we were going to the convenience store across from the Peabody (hence our second Peabody "march" of the day). He explained that he wasn't going into the store with us because the owners would be mean to him and throw him out, "It's really bad in Memphis, especially in this part of town." I realized what he meant: they don't want panhandlers outside of the Peabody. He continued, "There's a big problem with prejudice here, rich versus poor." I replied, "Don't worry, we're not rich." (I don't think he thought I was as funny as I did).
We arrived at the store, and we asked him what items he wanted or needed. At that point he started to change his mind; "I'd rather have money for the shelter, than for you to spend your money here." I told him we would give him groceries, not cash; he hesitantly agreed, "anything you can do. " The convenience store's selection was rather limited, but we got him some food and drinks. He said his thanks and hurried off down 2nd street.

I don't know if this guy was telling us the truth or not - I hope for he and his family's sake, he was lying. I don't want to be taken advantage of, but I'd hate to miss an opportunity to meet a real need.
These situations tend to be hard ones. In Matthew 25:35, Jesus says,

"For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink."

Hebrews 13:2 reads,

"Don't neglect to show hospitality, for by doing this some have welcomed angels as guests without knowing it."

(I really like the fact that the Holman Christian Standard uses the word hospitality). Hopefully, we did what we were supposed to do in this situation.

Dear, Mr. Wanderer, whether you're a panhandler (hoping for cash), a homeless dad, an angel, or Jesus, please enjoy the Cheetos, Poptarts, and Powerade.

Welcome.... Mary Margaret

2008-07-23T00:00:00.003-05:00

So.... just got an email from a college/med school buddy of mine, Daniel Fore, letting me know that he and his wife, Mary Evelyn, just had their second baby, Mary Margaret.

Born 7/22/08 @ 1428 hrs. Weighing in @ 8lbs, 2oz and lying 20" long. Lots of dark hair. C-section went great, Mev and Margaret doing well. Thanks for all the prayers and well-wishes.
Dan

Congratulations to Daniel, Mev, and big sister Evie!

Family Fun

2008-07-21T21:54:00.003-05:00

So.... if you didn't know, the family took a vacation earlier this summer to Destin. For some, this was their first trip to Florida; my folks hadn't been to the beach in about 30 years.

Please enjoy the obligatory khaki and white shirt on the beach family photo!

Rebecca (sister in law), Gabe (brother), Kaitlin (sister),
Ray (dad), Tyler (nephew), Me, Tricia (mom), & Hannah (niece).

Looking through the photos on my computer I saw a truly typical moment for our family: with my mom distracted, my dad sneaks up behind her to pinch and scare her.

Continuing to look at the pics, I noticed one of Tyler sneaking up on Kaitlin.

I guess it's just part of the Ward male DNA.

As I'm typing this, I'm reminded of the time at work, when I (wearing a white coat with a stethoscope around my neck) crawled around on the floor, hiding behind the half-wall of our office manager's office to scare her. Renee, however, just looked at me and laughed - not the typical response (of shrieking and shuddering) that Ward men expect to elicit.

Happy Birthday, Tricia!!!

2008-07-15T13:02:00.004-05:00

So.... I want to wish a very Happy Birthday to my Mom! Hope you're having a great day, Tricia! What? You're 35, right?

Tricia and Ray (my mom and dad)

A publicity photo from when my mom was on BayWatch

Only on very rare occasions will my mom or I "show our tail."

Happy Birthday, Misty Leigh!

2008-07-14T13:02:00.005-05:00

So.... I want to wish a very happy birthday to Misty Leigh Williams, your former Miss Pulaski County, Wife to Saint Marty of Fitzjurls, and Mother to Mary Ford!

This photo was taken outside of Ben's Chili Bowl in DC a few years ago.

Happy Birthday, Travis!!!

2008-07-12T15:16:00.009-05:00

So.... my good old #1 canine best friend turned 4 years old yesterday. Travis is such a good dog! RachelBaby was visiting last weekend, so we invited Donnie and Lori over for a birthday party.

We sang Happy Birthday, but Travis wouldn't blow out his candles.

Travis was way more interested in the Frosty Paws, frozen dog treats, that I, the crazy person that I am, bought for him (and tasted - kinda like wheat).

Travis devoured his ice cream. When he was done, he picked up the cup and carried it out of the kitchen. I almost fell on the floor because I thought he was taking it to the trash, but he turned into my room and hid the cup under my bed.

Then came time for fun with noise makers...

Rachel and Aaron

Donnie and Lori

Travis really liked the noise makers!

So, how many whistles can you put in your mouth?

Paint Splatter

2008-07-10T00:15:00.003-05:00

So.... have you ever accidentally ran over and exploded a can of paint as you were pulling into your craptastically messy carport. Well, I did last week. Good news: no yellow paint (former owner's old paint) on the car. Bad news: all over the car port.

Lazily, I thought, "I'll let it all dry in the not quite yet sweltering Arkansas summer and just peel it off when it dries."

It is latex after all!

By Special Request... Chagall Chicken Boobs

2008-07-07T19:00:00.002-05:00

So.... if you look at the post from earlier today, Pursuing Pineapple celebrates the birth of Marc Chagall, my favorite artist. MJ, one of the blog's avid readers (I need to think of a name for you guys, like pineapple playmates... that's it!) - so, MJ, one of our Pineapple Playmates, tipped me off to the fact that it is Chagall's birthday today (Google's masthead is even Chagall-esque). I posted really quickly, but she commented that she would have preferred a different picture. I actually own the following two lithographs, which are wonderfully matted and framed and hang with two other Chagall lithographs in my dining room.

These are both from a book that document Chagall's work with The Met in NYC. Yeah, birds with boobs - that's my design aesthetic. Interestingly enough, last night I was having dinner with RachelBaby and Donnie and Lori, and we started joking about how I had my church over to my house the other night, and we're sure some eyes glazed and mouths dropped agape after viewing the art in my house: two sets of chicken boobs in the dining room, purple lady boobs in the hall, pink and blue lady boobs in the bathroom (fortunately, childcare was provided at the church that night). I mean come on, it's not that bad, at least there's an etching of Zaccheus in the Sycamore (actual title: Zacheus op de Vygeboom) in the entry hall. One time my mom commented on the picture with boobs in the bathroom, and I quipped, "at least they're naked women and not naked men."

Yes, I realize the pics don't show the wonderful matting and framing.

Happy Birthday, Marc Chagall!

2008-07-07T12:48:00.004-05:00

So.... if you didn't know, Chagall is probably one of my favorite artists. He was a 20th century Russian born, Jewish artist who worked mostly in France. His work is fairly distinct (he does have elements of cubism and fauvism) in his portrayal of simple village life peppered with elements of Jewish symbolism. When discussing him with friends who can't quite remember Chagall, I usually say something to the effect, " you know he has people riding chickens, cows flying, and donkeys playing the fiddle."

I and the Village, Chagall's best known work is an oil on canvas painted in 1911 (pictured below).

Alas, poor Horton... I knew him well.

2008-06-29T16:47:00.005-05:00

So.... this post will pictorially examine the destruction and fury that is Travis, unfortunately unleashed on a single, innocent stuffed pachyderm. The following photos, though disturbing, show the aftermath of this Canine Force of Nature.

-picking up the pieces

-devastation by de-stuff-ulation, took no longer than seven minutes

-disembodied and scattered
(I totally did not fake this shot - the foot was by itself in the sun porch)

Sentimental Saturday (for Gretchen)

2008-06-28T13:52:00.003-05:00

So.... this post is for Gretchen and her request for another vintage photo. Please enjoy every element of this late 1970's photo.

I'm wearing cut off blue jeans and a Hulk t-shirt (very appropriate with the release of the newest Hulk movie). I'm playing with a Fisher-Price Playset (I think it came with squirrel puppets and a 45 record) and Star Wars figures - I see a Storm Trooper, HammerHead, and C3PO. You don't see C3PO? Look, in front of my foot, right there, on the Salt & Pepper Shag Carpet. My mom was (and is) very hip with design - her taste has changed a little in the last thirty years. She doesn't have that very cool black wet-look leather chair anymore (still very stylish), but she still has those oak dining chairs - covered with a different fabric. Actually we were laughing that the fabric I used to cover a kitchen chair and make my St. Patrick's Trousers is very similar to the original fabric on those chairs.

I think the neatest thing is that all of these elements are still stylish, cool, or at least desirable today: Star Wars, Super Heroes, Denim, Graphic T-shirts, Classic Furniture, Contemporary Furniture, even Shag Carpet to some degree (the new iteration is called frieze).

Hope you enjoyed the stroll down memory lane.

Leg in Shark's Mouth, Foot in My Mouth

2008-06-28T13:01:00.004-05:00

So.... The newest addition to the Smilin' Doc line of trousers are a pair of patchwork plaid madras pants, handmade by yours truly. I've only worn them once in public... on vacation... where no one knew me. This picture is from the Bass Pro Shop in Destin. I'm not too sure why I'm holding my leg like that - maybe, I'd had too much Captain Morgan?

In other news, two weeks ago and last weekend I worked on the front yard. You may remember me cleaning out the planter beds in front of my house a few months ago. Well, I never got around to mulching it, so I had to go back through and weed the beds again. Then it was time to mulch. I had found some cypress mulch that I liked (and had used on the mailbox flower bed), but the only place I could get it was at Home Depot (45 minutes away). I ran up to HD to get some supplies, and I bought 120 pounds of topsoil and 15 bags of mulch (~ 30 cubic feet) which I loaded into the trunk and back seat of my 4 door sedan (I totally need a truck or SUV).

Well, I had to go back to Home Depot a few days later to buy another 15 bags of mulch, which I once again loaded into my sedan (the first load barely covered half of the planter beds). Actually, I still need another bag or two to be completely finished. This morning my neighbor lady (the one who I'm sure thought I was crazy at Halloween) even commented on how nice my yard was looking. I still have to make a planter bed around the trees for a shade garden.

I wanted something to spruce up the front porch. I wanted some ferns to put in these urns, but I ran to Wal-Mart and they didn't have any ferns. I was quickly pushing my buggy through the garden section when a lady that I sort of recognized said, "Hi, Dr. Ward."
I confidently replied, "Oh, hi there."
I thought she was the mother of a patient I had seen twice for a skin infection that week, and she explained that her son was doing better and she was looking for some colorful plants for the front of her house. I said I was looking for something for my front porch.
"Dr. Ward, would those plants work for you?"
"Oh, just a little too pink for my taste, and I'm not looking for hanging plants."
I then commented that the plants she had selected would brighten up the front of her house. "Oh, yes, we are putting our house on the market and it is being shown this next week."
I, quite knowledgeable on various topics, encouraged her, "Yeah, make sure the front of the house looks good - always have great curb appeal to make a good first impression - it's the best way to get a house sold."
As I turned to look at the palms, the lady turned to say, "Dr. Ward, I wanted to make sure you knew who I was..."
"You're so-and-so's mom, right?"
"Yes, my name is blah-blah and I'm a local realtor here in town."
With red cheeks and ears, I calmly expressed, "Oh, well you know all about curb appeal and how to sell a house. See you later." I then scurried to hide behind the palms and ficus.

Happy Birthday, Joy!

2008-06-24T00:01:00.001-05:00

So.... smile, Joy, it's your birthday!

We are so totally rockin' the 80's look!

Words of Encouragement

2008-06-23T23:34:00.008-05:00

So.... sometimes the very simplest of encouraging words can mean a whole lot.

Sunday night, I hosted my church at my house. We had about 35 to 40 folks show up. I fed them jambalaya and red beans and rice (I so totally should have had a Mardi Gras Pardi this year), and they ate it all. For some reason, I woke up earlier than usual on Sunday, so I'm a crazy person making four pans of Rice Krispy Treats at 6:30 in the morning. The Rice Krispy Treats were pretty much gone too, and whatever was left of them was consumed by the girls at work on Monday.

After dining on cajun cuisine, we all gathered in the living room for a time of discussion (reiterating that morning's sermon). We finished the evening by breaking into small groups and praying for one another. My friend Neal (he and his wife Teresa led my small group this year) was in my small prayer group. Well, the discussion ran long, so in the middle of the praying, Neal and Theresa had to leave to go pick up their kids. I didn't realize they left until after "Amen."

When I went into the kitchen, the Nelsons had left me a "note" written on a coffee cup.

Neal & Teresa, thanks! I think you're cool, too!

Happy Birthday, Gabe!

2008-06-23T23:26:00.004-05:00

So.... today is my older brother's birthday. 35 years old - gee, it doesn't sound as old as it used to. Hope you had a good one, Gabe (not that you read this blog). Here's a little vintage Olan Mills for your viewing pleasure.

We are so totally rockin' the tube socks!

PhotoShop Fun

2008-06-16T21:25:00.002-05:00

So.... I thought I'd post just a little more craziness from the night of Putt-Putt.

What Rachel was "Doing"....

What Rachel was "Imagining"....

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

2008-06-16T20:17:00.001-05:00

So.... when the fam went down to Destin a few weeks ago, we went to the movies one night. The theater had this awesome Hulk statue in the lobby, so we all "Hulked Out" for the camera (as several movie goers walked past us).

I probably wouldn't make a very good Hulk because I started to giggle whenever I flexed my 'guns.'

Tyler was actually pretty convincing. I just don't know if the Hulk would have worn a Razorback T-shirt.

Kaitlin looks likes she's been practicing posing for a women body builder's competition.

Hannah's throwing a TaiBo uppercut sucker punch!

While the rest of us Hulked Out, Tricia just caressed his abs (and appears to have really enjoyed doing so).

Putt Putt for the Fun of It

2008-06-15T23:50:00.002-05:00

So.... I traveled to Murfreesboro for some friends' wedding. After Ricky and Erica (Mr. & Mrs. Crabtree) said "I do," we all met up later for some good ole fashioned fun at the Putt Putt course. We invited Ricky, but Erica wouldn't let him play mini-golf with us - like they had anything better to do... Here are a couple of pics (of putt putt - not Ricky and Erica).

Kung Fu Pediatrician

I guess we'll have to mini-golf since Joy is too short to ride the go-karts (either that or she has to go to the restroom).

Jackie, an avid arborist, uses his own technique to help support a growing tree.

Skee Ball anyone? Do you think we'll get enough tickets to get one of those awesome spider rings? Don't bust a gasket, John!

RachelBaby uses her desire to become a flight nurse to gingerly maneuver this helicopter to a safe landing.

Hey, Gang, thanks for the great weekend! I miss all of you!

Not so Macro Monday

2008-06-02T19:25:00.000-05:00

So.... no macro photos today, but here is a shot from my phone.

Fun at the Destin Wal-Mart

2008-06-02T18:12:00.006-05:00

So.... Kaitlin (my little sis) and I had a little fun last night with Ronald McDonald (well, his statue) at the Wal-Mart in Destin.

We had to go get some drinks, a new Florida magnet, a shell necklace, a new watch, sunscreen, Burt's Bees Lip Balm, a paperback, In Style, Vogue, Strawberry Margarita Mix, and various other sundries.

The last time I was at this Wal-Mart, the fun I had involved modeling a speedo.

Later...

2008-05-30T16:58:00.002-05:00

So.... I'll be on vacation for the next week - unsure if I'll have internet access. I'll post if I do have access. You all have a great week because I plan on having a fabulous week.

Here's something to laugh about: I was at Kohl's the other night (right as the store was closing) and the checker gave me a 15% Senior Citizen Discount. Whatever, I'll take it (and am happy to have it - I found some shoes that I needed).

Welcome.... Mary Ford

2008-05-28T17:26:00.002-05:00

So.... please join me in welcoming Mary Ford.

Congratulations to my friends Misty Leigh and Marty
on the birth of their first born child.

I don't have a picture of Mary Ford yet,
but here's an endearing photo of Marty and MLW.

Shake it!

2008-05-26T12:51:00.000-05:00

So.... RachelBaby, Ali Gato, Ruby Red, MJ and Papa John visited this Memorial Day Weekend. Sometimes, things can get out of control, especially with OutKast on the iTunes and a digital camera in hand (sorry it's all sideways).

Macro Monday #7

2008-05-19T12:29:00.003-05:00

So....

Costa Rican Pottery Sitting on Wood Shelf

Trousers Take Two

2008-05-18T22:31:00.000-05:00

So.... most of you saw my St. Patrick's Day post about my hideously wonderful green and yellow chenille pants. Well, I tried something a little more sophisticated this time around - I made a pair of dress pants (dress pant material with a slightly more casual cut). The picture doesn't show a lot of detail, but they turned out ok. If you get up close you can see how bad the tailoring is, but I'm pleased with these trousers (pretty good for a second try).

The material is this nice charcoal glen-plaid. I think it was almost as hard to sew as the upholstery fabric for different reasons. It is thin and a little stretchy - the green material was super thick and frayed like crazy.

The contrast fabric for the pockets and the seam banding on the inside is pretty cool - skull and crossbones!

I think I got more compliments on my shoes than the pants (I wore them to work on Friday). They are so uncomfortable - absolutely no support for my Barney Rubble Feet. At least they helped to make that quasi urban skater look I think I was going for.

Be patient. Today I cut out the pieces for my pair of plaid madras pants.

Not Exactly a Millstone...

2008-05-15T17:08:00.007-05:00

So.... I was sitting in the "cloffice," working on the computer, when I looked down and saw Travis sitting on one of the throw pillows from the sofa in the lounge (the kitchen sitting area). I thought it strange that he would bring a pillow all the way to the other side of the house, but he has his own way of doing things. I went to pick the throw pillow up to take it back to the kitchen when I noticed that one of the frilly, decorative border strings had actually gotten looped around his collar. He actually dragged the pillow across the house. He's a trooper!

Here's a quick little video. Enjoy!

Macro Monday #6

2008-05-12T12:30:00.001-05:00

So....

this is the texture from my leather sofa.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie...

2008-05-08T10:31:00.005-05:00

So.... despite popular belief, Travis does slow down - sometimes he even sleeps. Earlier this week he got tired of waiting on me to finish working in the office, so he just laid down.

Last Sunday, we were both napping. I was in the recliner and he was on the couch.

Yesterday morning, I was just finishing getting ready and walked back into the bed room to find him asleep on my bed.

Icon Contest

2008-05-07T17:26:00.005-05:00

So.... the penguin icon actually came from a warning sticker on a styrofoam packing box full of vaccines. It warns to refrigerate - not freeze. I think one of my favorite things is the way his right foot is slightly cocked up, like he's tapping his toe.

Some participants in the contest will receive a prize - be watching your mailboxes or front steps.

GMom provided three creative entries:
"Do not invite me to any black tie events"
"No strutting like a penguin allowed"
"No tuxedos if you are shaped like an egg and have a long nose"

Joie offered a guess at an actual meaning:
"Not a black tie event."

Misty Leigh suggested a creative slogan:
"Warning: Penguins in tuxedos are meaner than they appear!"

Marty's entry most closely approximated the actual warning:
"Warning: Do Not Freeze"

Hope you enjoyed. Thanks for all who participated.

Get Your Cinco On!

2008-05-05T12:42:00.003-05:00

So....

We here at
Pursuing Pineapple
would like to wish you and yours a

!Muy Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

Macro Monday #5

2008-05-05T12:08:00.002-05:00

So....

this is a close up of the side of a basket. I thought the texture was pretty cool.

Down with Penguins

2008-04-30T12:39:00.005-05:00

So.... I saw this icon today on a warning label and thought it was pretty funny. What could it mean? "Down with Penguins." "No Happy Feet Allowed." "Just Say No to Formality."

I'm opening a contest. I will accept submissions (via comments) for the next week. Prizes will be awarded for two categories: "Most creative slogan to accompany this icon" and "Slogan most closely approximating the actual warning." Enter as many times as you like. The full warning label and the winners will be posted next Wednesday, May 7. Good luck!

Winners will be selected by a committee of one, namely me, acting as judge, jury, and if need be executioner. All entries become the property of PursuingPineapple, a Division of Dancing Dog Enterprises.

Arkansas Folklore

2008-04-29T22:29:00.002-05:00

So....

Did I ever tell you about the time I accidentally bought a book of naughty folktales? Well, a few months ago I was at Barnes & Noble in Little Rock (wasting some time before an appointment), and I started looking at the Arkansas section for some coffee table books. I had some about Tennessee, and I wanted some about Arkansas. Well the photography selection wasn't to my liking, but I saw this book called Pissing in the Snow & Other Ozark Folktales by Vance Randolph. I bought it without reading the forward or even perusing the folktales; I got home and to my surprise, this was not the book I thought I was buying. Well, I read it anyway - the stories are not pornographic (not really), they are more, well, baudy and ribald.

One week when my K-group (small group from church) was over at the house, as we started the discussion of the Bible study, the small group leader looks over at the bookshelf and loudly reads the title - of course, that is the one book that would catch his attention. All very embarrassing.

I don't know that I can recommend that book to anyone. However, I did buy a another copy for my friend Marty, but he's a US Marshal and hears naughty things all the time from criminals - he even had a perp whose street name was "dog nuts."

I can, however, recommend the following book: Deep Down in the Delta - folktales and poems by Greg Brownderville. He is the Poet of Pumpkin Bend. No, seriously, he's from a town in Arkansas called Pumpkin Bend, and he's a poet (no really, he's won an award and everything). He's just finishing a Masters program at Ole Miss, but his undergraduate work was completed at Ouachita Baptist University (my alma mater - Go Tigers). His book is available at Amazon.

My friends Donnie and Lori (aware of my interest in family-friendly as well as adult-themed folklore) invited me to a poetry reading that Brownderville did at OBU, and I thoroughly enjoyed it (I'm usually not one for poetry readings). The poems he read from that night are being compiled into a second book. Despite having not read this unpublished second book, I still recommend it (just because the last time I bought a book without reading anything about it and it turned out to be folk-porno doesn't mean anything). Anyway, my two favorite images from the poetry at the reading are as follows (obviously they are more powerful as lines in poems as opposed to my remembrances scrawled into crazy blog posts). The first was from a poem where the characters were gathering honey and he compared the honeycomb to a "box of shells." That's ammunition, not seashells. The other image was how he described a lady singing at his boyhood church - her voice was sweet, it was "banana cream Jesus."

He also sang a gospel song, "Jesus on the Mainline," before reading one of the poems. This is a video of he and his brother performing that song:

Now, bringing this random blog back together: My friend Rachel visited this past weekend and we went to Hot Springs to see/hear the live broadcast of A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor. My eyes lit up and ears perked up as Keillor and his colleagues sang "Jesus on the Mainline," and then he explained how an important folklorist, Vance Randolph, lived in the Ozarks and collected folksongs and folktales, some of which are compiled in the book, Pissing in the Snow.

Macro Monday #4

2008-04-28T12:07:00.001-05:00

So....

this is another attempt at being "photographically artistic." It's a picture of a green crackle glazed lamp, capturing the reflection of the kitchen chair railing, the lamp shade with it's wire armature, and the CFL light bulb (see, this picture is green in several ways).

Tennis, Anyone?

2008-04-24T22:59:00.002-05:00

So.... seriously, how could you say no to this face?

Macro Monday #3

2008-04-21T12:14:00.001-05:00

So....

Ow, she's a brick house... She's mighty, mighty.... Just lettin' it all hang out... Yeah, she's a brick house!

Suddenly Seymour

2008-04-21T07:40:00.001-05:00

So.... I've been so busy working in the front yard, I didn't notice what was growing in the back yard.

It's a "mean green mutha' from outer space." Fortunately, Travis won't go anywhere near it; otherwise, I'd be afraid he'd get eaten.

Make your Bed

2008-04-20T21:19:00.000-05:00

So.... I've lately been in the mood to get some yard work done. I recently posted about the day I spent cleaning out the flower beds in front of the house. Here is a picture (I so should have taken a before) of the house yesterday morning.

Yesterday afternoon's project was building a planting bed around the mailbox. My dad made my mailbox post and installed it for me last August, and it's stately elegance demanded more than the rocks and weeds that until yesterday surrounded it. Yesterday morning I went to the local tack/ranch/farm store, but they were too busy helping the pushy, mean, old biddies with their plants (and I didn't like their selection), so I headed out on the interstate, to the closest Home Depot and Lowe's. I picked out my pavers and my mulch at Home Depot, but Lowe's selection of plants was much better. After loading 120 pounds of topsoil, 50 pounds of brick pavers, 6 cubic feet of cypress mulch, and sundry and numerous annuals into my sedan, I returned home (after stopping at the Chik-fil-A drive thru).

Do you know how hard it is to shovel off the top 5-6 inches of weedy soil? Well, it's not easy. Moving said layer of muddy, weedy soil is no picnic either. Unfortunately, I don't have a wheel-barrow (yet- it's on the list), so I used one of those little bitty seed-spreader things to tote bricks and bags and dirt from the carport to the front yard to the back yard. Anyway, got the dirt up, then I laid down brick pavers, amended the soil, planted, mulched, watered, and cleaned everything up! It was a chore! Here are some after shots.

I still have to work (adjust the brick border, mulch) on the beds at the front of the house, which I cleaned out earlier in the week. The next major front yard project is building a large planting bed around those three trees in the front yard (pictured below). I want it to be a shade garden with hostas and ferns.

Here's a tip. If you lay your bricks into the ground and have them even with the soil of the yard, you can run the mower right over them without having to weedeat around that planter bed.

Gardening Annually

2008-04-17T20:09:00.000-05:00

So.... my yard was looking pretty shabby. Now the inside of my house is approaching "showplace," but the outside has been neglected. I had read that when you move into a new place, you really shouldn't do any landscaping until you've been there a year so that you'll know how your garden looks throughout the seasons. I took "no landscaping" to mean "no yard maintenance." I mean, yeah, I mowed it when I felt overwhelmingly embarrassed, but I haven't planted anything new.

Well, I've been wanting to put a planting bed around the mailbox. I thought it would add to the curb appeal (it would also make it easier to mow that area of the yard). I planned to work on that yesterday, but I got distracted by the planting beds in front of the house. I focused my attention to cleaning them up - they probably hadn't been touched for the four or five months before I bought the house. So now after about 18 months the time was right.

So, 7 hours, 13 bags of debris, 3 armfuls of branches, and 1600 mg of Motrin (in two doses, six hours apart) later, the planters in front of my house were cleaned out. A third of the shrubbery was dead - one side of the house has only three little plants left in front of it.

The pictures really don't do justice to the excruciating amount of work I did, it just occurred to me to show a pic of the front of the house - too late tonight.

At one point I got a little excited because I found this black and metallic tube-like object. I thought it might be some sort of Ancient Klingon Time Capsule or The Cosmic Key (raise your hand if you saw He-Man and the Masters of the Universe - the live action movie, starring Dolph Lundgren and Courtney Cox - I'll let you borrow my DVD if you promise to bring it back). No, it wasn't a Cosmic Key, a Klingon Time Capsule, or even a toy lightsaber - it was a stupid ole' broken bird-feeder (which was promptly disposed of in bag #12).

Macro Monday #3

2008-04-14T12:45:00.003-05:00

So....

this is a picture of the top of a glazed ceramic pineapple. It sits on my mantle. The wavy pattern behind it is the edge of a picture frame.

Note: Picture posted horizontally for artistic value.

Under the Table

2008-04-08T23:01:00.005-05:00

So.... has someone you loved ever looked at you with one of those faces that said, "Please, build me a table under which my crate will fit?"

That may not be exactly how it happened - actually, I recently got a few pieces of furniture for my bedroom and wanted something to disguise the crate (at least a little bit). So.... I cannibalized an old coffee table and an old end table to make a new one.

The bedroom may not be the best place to work on this new construction...

Outside obviously is a more appropriate place for power tools. Check out my awesome Ryobi cordless power drill and freaking awesome Ryobi Circular Saw (thanks, Dad). I'm glad you ladies weren't there, or you all would have mobbed me, possessed by my brute strength and sweaty t-shirt.

One of the more fun parts was distressing the table (hitting it and scratching it up with a hammer).

Not a fan of that lighter wood tone (which wouldn't blend with the "Exotic Fusion Look" I was going for), I decided to paint the new crate table. First Berry Red spray paint (the Valspar Spray paint has a much nicer and wider push button - I highly recommend it) and then a streak or two of gold. I then followed up with a light smattering of Satin Black; it really didn't turn out like I expected, but I started getting a wood tone/grain effect, so I went with it.

The distressing just looks like scratches in the pic. It gives a lot more character in person.

The table in place. It looks pretty good and serves it's purpose well enough. Of course, as soon as I finished the table, Travis found a better spot to hang out.

Macro Monday #2

2008-04-07T12:36:00.005-05:00

So....

You guessed it. Cashews - my favorite! (click the pic to see the salt!)

Ghetto-fabulous GameCube

2008-04-06T22:48:00.008-05:00

So.... for those of you who don't know, GameCube is a video game console produced by Nintendo - think grandchild of Super NES (remember, Mario Bros. and Duck Hunt) and predecessor to the Wii, or if that doesn't help, think: PONG begat Atari begat .... Game Cube. So anyway, some friends of mine from Murfreesboro and I got hooked on playing GameCube (after church on Sundays, or Tuesdays, or on the big projector at church on Fridays, you get the idea). I enjoyed playing so much that I asked for one for Christmas '06. My console has been played maybe a dozen and a half times.

Well I was jonesin' for a GameCube fix back in January, and after work I pulled out my lil' ole GameCube and hooked it up. The stupid thing wouldn't work - it gave some message like system won't compute - check manual. Well, the manual said, if you get that screen, contact customer support (online). Well, the website said that the machine would need to be refurbished - free within warranty or $50.00 if out of warranty. Remember that I said I got it in 12/06 and found that it wouldn't work in 1/08 - just one month out of warranty - isn't that how it always goes. So, I looked online for a new one - actually, they aren't made anymore, but Target.com still accepts orders ($100.00). My "local" Target (45 minutes away - cruel, cruel world) didn't have one in stock. I called the Wal-Mart in town, and they didn't have one. Was I to be reduced to sending my barely used but not working Christmas Gift to the Nintendo Factory to be refurbished? Well, then I remembered, right across from Wal-Mart is a strip mall (no, not the one where my church is located). You know, the strip mall every town of this size has; it has a Hibbet Sports, a Nail Salon, a PayDay Cash Advance, a Chinese Restaurant (I call ours Great Wall of Buffet), and, you guessed it, a GameStop.

So, I called GameStop, and they had some GameCubes. I could get my fix that evening! I arrived at the store and inquired about their selection. They had a couple of new ones (at $100) or they had refurbished ones (at $30). [GameCube games also play on the Wii (the newest Nintendo console), so I asked about their Wii selection, and they laughed at me - remember, this was right after Christmas] The sales folks said that I could get an extended warranty for $5, so....

Check out this awesome working $35 dollar Ghetto-fabulous GameCube pimped out with lightening bolt decals and a sweet 1-year warranty.

The first thing I did was clean the entire thing with cotton swabs dipped in alcohol.

The games to play are MarioKart and Smash Bros Melee.

MarioKart is a racing game. You have several characters from which to choose, all from past iterations of Mario Games, like Donkey Kong (that's where Mario all started), Luigi, the Princess, and Bowser - the big turtle/dragon guy you tried to beat up at the end of each level of Super Mario Bros. Anyway, you pick your two person racing team and a car, and race your way into loads of fun. Smash Bros Melee has a similar concept: choose one of the many characters from Nintendo's games (Mario, Pokemon, Kirby, Link, Donkey Kong) and street fight your way into loads of fun.

Macro Monday #1

2008-03-31T23:16:00.003-05:00

So.... tonight I went a little crazy with the Macro setting on my Point & Click camera. I actually just meant to take a quick picture for a post (while I was straightening up the sun porch so I could start Power 90ing my way to a slimmer me), when I thought, "hey, I wonder how close I can get and keep it in focus." Several successful and failed attempts later, I had made it through most of my house, taking close up photos of anything with an interesting texture. My thought was to use these photos either as a changing desktop for my computer or as a screensaver, but then, Eureka, it hit me - this will be the start of a recurring feature on Pursuing Pineapple (also it will give me something easy to post, so that I'll be more likely to stick with it). So the inaugural Macro Monday Pic:

This is a close up (click on the pic to get closer) of the puff ball trim on a red tea towel, that I usually use as a place mat. Coincidentally, the tea towel has a pineapple embroidered on it.

Laser Tag

2008-03-31T12:15:00.001-05:00

So.... after moving back to Arkansas I discovered that Travis could see the red dot of a laser pointer. Hundreds of dollars worth of squeaky, fluffy, bouncy, roll-y, chew-y toys - no, he prefers a dot of light (a free pen/laser pointer from a drug rep). Anyway, it's pretty fun. He'll chase it under furniture, down the hall, and even up the wall.

Sometimes, he loses the dot and looks for help.

It doesn't take long for him to find it.

Then he takes off chasing it - sometimes, so fast you can't catch him on film (please notice the effects of Travis, as evidenced by the disheveled area rug).

Travis being the very smart dog that he is (no, really, this lady at a dog toy company said he was smart after I emailed them to let them know that the toy that "keeps dogs occupied for hours" didn't keep him occupied - it is a soft rubber tube that loosely holds a tennis ball that "your dog may eventually get out," at my house eventually is approximately 42 seconds), anyway, Travis realized that the red dot comes out of the pen, and now he begs for the pen. It's a little creepy - kind of like those movies where the computer becomes self aware.

Happy Easter!

2008-03-23T12:44:00.001-05:00

So.... the "crazy" picture was probably the best one. The family came to visit this weekend. We've had a nice time together. We introduced my mom to Mario Kart. Now we're just waiting for the Ham to finish, so we can have the traditional Easter Lunch.

But seriously:

But on the first day of the week, at early dawn, they came to the tomb bringing the spices which they had prepared. And they found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were perplexed about this, behold, two men suddenly stood near them in dazzling clothing; and as the women were terrified and bowed their faces to the ground, the men said to them, "Why do you seek the living One among the dead? He is not here, but He has risen. Remember how He spoke to you while He was still in Galilee, saying that the Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and the third day rise again." And they remembered His words, and returned from the tomb and reported all these things to the eleven and to all the rest.
Luke 24:1-9

Hope you all have a great Easter!